What To Do When IVF Fails. Did your IVF/assisted conception fail or have you recently suffered a miscarriage? As a Fertility Doula I am particularly aware of how this experience impacts not only your physical body but also your emotional self and your ability to conceive.
Here’s how to recover.
Take time to adapt to the loss – Seek help from a professional or specialised counsellor to help you remain positive about the future.
Go to the follow up appointment with the hospital or clinic to help you understand why this may have happened
Be kind to yourself – a mind/body approach helps recovery. Ensure you take time to rest.
Spend time with your partner (if you have one) or seek loving support using mindfulness, complementary therapies to ease detoxification and recovery
Prepare for your next pregnancy – using nutrition
When you have suffered a loss there are a number of ways to restore balance. We are all different so here are 4 ways to re-balance and prepare to start again.
When you are faced with the knowledge that your fertility cycle has not provided the positive result you were hoping for it is difficult to remain up-beat about the future. Hormones will be raging and emotionally you are likely to be feeling vulnerable.
1. Take Time to Adapt:
I believe it is important to allow yourself time to adapt and grieve. I often recommend my clients take “time out” before they organise the follow up appointment at the hospital or clinic. You may not be ready immediately to discuss the reasoning for the failure and if this is the case please honour this. I suggest you wait until your “bleed” has completed or a whole cycle later if this suits you. Only return to the hospital or clinic when you feel ready rather than steaming ahead. This is a time to BREATHE and BE. Eastern philosophy considers that we “call our children” and the soul of our child “calls its parents”. Whilst the physical formation (conception/development of embryo to fetus takes place long before the actual “soul” connects during gestation) it is important to acknowledge the trauma to release the un-conscious conceptual barriers such as fear or emotional pain which may have attached. Some of my clients like to release the situation by performing a little “ritual” during this time. Suggestions include
Buy a plant or small tree and place it in your garden or home. Nurture and nourish the plant/tree as your nourish yourself. With this form of natural ritual it helps you identify the ebb and flow of life cycles. When we watch the stages of the cycle of life, from bud to blossom to disintegration, we can appreciate our own earthly process. Each stage we go through has its time of fulfillment and recession, as do all living things.
Buy a candle. Each day, as you light the wick send light and love to the experience. When the candle has burnt down then it is time to leave the experience behind and draw a closure to your grief. (I don’t suggest too large a candle please!)
Sage your home from the past by burning sage throughout each room.
Try an Abundance New Moon Ritual
2. Be kind to yourself:
organise date nights;
take time to learn meditation or positive mantra ; use daily positive quotes (my Creation Fertility toolkit provides all this) or renew your well-being programme. Here is a meditation you may like to listen to re-connecting yourself with your womb.
3. Complementary Therapies. Cleanse the excess hormones from the body and release the trauma from the mind and body using a combination of complementary body therapies.
Manual Lymphatic Drainage Massage: This specialised form of massage Manual Lymphatic Drainage (MLD) is recommended pre fertility treatment or post failed fertility treatment or following a miscarriage. The lymphatic system plays a key role in the circulation of hormones and it seems logical that this gentle but powerful form of massage is used during this time. When the lymphatic system is congested hormonal circulation causes disruption – symptoms include mood swings, late or weak menses or simply to help regulate the menstrual cycle once more, reduce the risk of of uterine cysts, eases oestrogen or progesterone imbalances, post pelvic immune reactions including supporting the immune system generally reducing hormonal gut health symptoms, acne or spots, bloating & constipation. Another bonus is that it helps to release that fluid congestion that most ladies suffer post assisted conception/IVF/miscarriage and helps to detoxify the whole body. For more about this amazing form of massage see my recent blog MLD massage and fertility
Far Infrared Therapy: an effective adjunct therapy this relaxing “cocoon sauna “ allows safe far infrared rays to penetrate the body and encourages deeper manual lymphatic drainage through massage. Far infrared is often used these days – hot yoga uses far infrared to heat the studio but within my treatments I focus on cellular rejuvenation, detoxification and to re balance both the womb and endocrine system and combine this treatment with compresses, massage, castor oil packs or reflexology.
Sacral Womb Massage: supports circulation and eases restrictions, giving movement to the womb, increases circulation and releases both physical and emotional trauma. Physically the nerves that feed from the sacrum and lower back service the reproductive and digestive system, so treating this area increases circulation and releases tension, allowing for better nerve communication.
Reflexology : a wonderful form of fertility treatment, actively treating the whole body whilst working through the feet. I have found it not only soothing for the mind but restores hormonal balance very effectively.
Whilst there may be some discussion at the beginning and end of each treatment a meditative silence is encouraged to enable restoration and release.
When a miscarriage has taken place or any form of assisted conception has failed there is a sense of urgency to begin the cycle again. I have found that the best results are achieved when you take time to prepare for another round. As a Registered Naturopath and Nutritional Therapist I believe that diet and lifestyle are essential to well being and encourage not only a healthy conception but also a healthy child. Post failed assisted conception or a miscarriage it is important to reassess your physical health and work from the inside out.
Wombdoula workshops – sign up to join my workshop and let me show you how to support yourself from the inside out!
Nutritional Therapy: Through in house health screening and a consultation I can address detoxification and encourage hormonal re balance. Ideally I encourage a 3 month programme before BEFORE trying to conceive again because I like to feel confident that your cycle has regulated and you feel the best you can before embarking on the conception journey again. Sometimes this is not logistically appropriate (such as age) so nothing is set in stone. My role is to help you make informed decisions & support you not dictate to you!
Let me help you move forward and plan your next steps towards achieving your dream of parenthood .